The Interrogation(inside the mind of a hapless criminal)
by hunchbak
Summary: Every chapter is a different case/interrogation. Each being a one shot fic. Please review.
1. Back From Birth

**Entry.**

**Time: 10:40 p.m.**

**Date: 10/14/12**

**Interrogator: Special Agent Dr. Spencer Reid **

**Interrogatee: Florist, Robert Cross**

* * *

Reid: Is there something I can get you before we begin?

Cross: Nothing.

Reid: Calm down. There is nothing to be afraid of.

Cross: …

Reid: What's your name? And how old are you?

Cross: My name is Robert Cross and I'm 28 years old.

Reid: Alright, Robert. I want you to place your hands on the table and close your eyes.

Cross: W-why do you want me to do that?

Reid: I want you to think of your past. And chances are that what you remember or have oppressed in your mind could affect you. And if that happens, I want to stay here by your side.

Cross: What would you do to protect me…Dr. Reid?

Reid: I will hold your hand, Robert. And will be by your side throughout.

Cross: You have lost your marbles, agent. Everything in the crime scene points to me as the killer. Fingerprints…gunshot residue. Even CCTV footage. Still you sit here by me, offering me guidance…for what?

Reid: I'm looking for motive, Robert. You haven't told us that. You killed three different people every four days in the past two weeks. You're a textbook serial killer. Yet there are so many things that don't make sense. We need you to tell us.

Cross: Motive…right. That one gets me too.

Reid: … We want to know why you killed them. McKenzie Raul, Mark Shubert and Tracy Homburg. The same MO and pattern…yet it doesn't correlate with any motive we can think of. All three victims were found with their head's smashed with a knife found at the precincts of all three crime scenes.

Cross: …So you guarantee this will help?

Reid: There's a chance.

Cross: And what if it doesn't?

Reid: It would leave you with memories. Things you had chosen to forget forever.

Cross: …

Reid: …

Cross: Let's do it.

Reid: Close your eyes and take deep breaths. Put all your concentration in my voice, Robert. Don't let go of it.

Cross: …

Reid: I want you to go back to the night of the first murder. Why did you kidnap McKenzie?

Cross: McKenzie is my uncle. My _own _blood. I did not kidnap him. He had visited my apartment for some advice.

Reid: What sort of advice?

Cross: He…he was having some issues with his boyfriend, Jesse.

Reid: Why you in particular?

Cross: We've shared a bond over the years.

Reid: For how long, Robert?

Cross: Since I was five. He saved me from drowning in the Miami Beach.

Reid: Describe that incident, Robert.

Cross: … It was a cool evening. Almost dusk. And we were buying flowers for dad's birthday party. McKenzie had planned a big surprise. Although it was a great day, Uncle McKenzie was fussing over something. He was angry…and was cursing all over the place.

Reid: Why was he angry?

Cross: He had a fight with dad…fight with daddy. Daddy had said something rude to him and had asked to take me out for a walk.

Reid: Did you know what McKenzie and your father had argued about?

Cross: No…I was out playing on the sand box when they had that row.

Reid: Alright…you were on the beach with McKenzie…go on.

Cross: We were walking by the shore…I kept running away from the water line every time a big wave came up. McKenzie just followed me angrily. We continued walking in silence for the next ten minutes…

Reid: Then what, Cross?

Cross: He…he pushed me inside. I did not see it coming. Gr-grabbed hold of my neck and held my face down. I began swallowing the salt water…I tried to kick but McKenzie was too strong for me…and then … … … … he suddenly released me. Everything happened in a flash!

Reid: Weren't you rushed to a hospital?

Cross: I don't remember…I woke up and was on my bed. Nobody knew anything about the attack. Later that evening McKenzie came to my room saying that someone had hit me on the back of my head and that I had passed out when he wasn't looking.

Reid: Can you think of any possible reasons for why McKenzie would want to kill you?

Cross: He hated Daddy…

Reid: Alright, Robert. Let's go back further than that memory. What do you remember of your mother?

Cross: None…I was born to a dead mother.

Reid: I understand. However, what happens is that from the time you were four months old in your mother's womb, you develop the sense of hearing. The brain starts to memorize events that your hear through the womb.

Cross: …

Reid: You need to help yourself out here, Robert.

Cross: What do you want me to do?

Reid: I want you to further calm down and try to remember. There is nothing to be afraid of. Robert, try to think, what happened when you were born.

Cross: …blood. Lots of it.

Reid: I want you to distinguish the parts you see within the blood.

Cross: There is …something leaving me…long. I like it. It's strengthening me. …

Reid: It…it must me the umbilical cord! You're doing very good, Robert! Now try to remember the noises that you heard…think hard.

Cross: A woman's voice…my mother! Mother is screaming!

Reid: What is she screaming for, Robert! Listen.

Cross: She's saying… No…no…please don't do this. Please…for the sake of Christ! Dr. Reid!

Reid: Yes, Robert! I'm right here with you…focus…tell me Robert…do you hear a name? Whom is she talking to?

Cross: I can't hold on Dr. Reid! She's in pain…He's hurting her! She's losing beats…blood. Lots of blood.

Reid: Stay for a while longer…please. I need you to hear his voice…

Cross: Mark! Mark! Please don't do this…don't…Help me! Somebody! Mark…my kid…please for his sake! No! Help me Pl-

* * *

**Ten Minutes Later. **

* * *

Cross: What happened?

Reid: You passed out. Are you feeling alright? Do you remember anything?

Cross: No…tell me Dr. Reid. What happened really?

Reid: You answered most of my questions.

Cross: Huh.

Reid: Why did you kill McKenzie?

Cross: It wasn't intended. I said it a million times. He came in that day wanting some advice and then pulled out a knife. He started shaking and said something about I cannot keep controlling him forever. It had to end. He had to end this…

Reid: And then he attacked.

Cross: Yes…and I panicked and grabbed a vase and smashed it against him. I swear to God, Detective, I did not intend to kill him! You've got to believe me. He wanted to hurt me…I had no other go!

Reid: I do.

Cross: Ple…wait what? You believe me?

Reid: We found records …McKenzie had ushered many death threats to your father. Various means…gangs, assassins etc. He had killed about three people before.

Cross: …oh…well. He doesn't have to worry about that now. His wish is fulfilled.

Reid: Yeah Robert. You killed your Dad next…Mark Shubert.

Cross: …

Reid: You acted on instinct. He killed your mother 27 years ago. She had discovered his affair with his mistress.

Cross: Oh my God! I can't believe this! …How can I kill someone without being aware of it?

Reid: Twenty seven years of emotions and feelings bottled up came out when you watched McKenzie die. It simply rushed as a burst of energy. You went to meet him at his apartment in Manhattan and somehow subconsciously you slipped into a trance. Your mind wanted to kill the killer of your mother. So you did. You smashed his head against his bedroom wall.

Cross: But…How did a knife get there?

Reid: Instincts again. You placed a knife besides his body. Our minds like to follow a pattern so that it can associate better. Humans are a kind that enjoy following habits.

Cross: Wow.

Reid: …

Cross: Mrs. Homburg…you still believe that I killed her too.

Reid: Actually, not anymore. The forensic reports came in while you had passed out. According to which she slipped on a banana skin accidentally while chopping onions for dinner. You were nowhere near her apartment as you've mentioned in your alibi that night.

Cross: Ridiculous.

Reid: …

Cross: So what now? Imma still go to jail. Killed daddy, didn't I?

Reid: You'll be provided a good lawyer, Robert. As long as the FBI's BAU is concerned…you're innocent of all your charges. You should be free to go.

Cross: I don't know what to say…

Reid: You've got answers to your questions now. I hope you're happy about it.

Cross: Thanks…a lot.

* * *

**Time: 11:03**

**Exit.**


	2. The Book Said So

"Still wondering how it all began. I had stayed up late that night. And I remember being angry. Don't quite remember what had angered me, had got myself worked up. You know how it is with anger? The more you try to reason with your fury, the madder you get. It's like a volcano, forever in conflict with itself, until finally it gets a chance to go BOOM!

I was sitting on my bed clenching my cat Eredith's mid-riff. Oh, and I had realized that she had stopped moaning long time ago. It is like one of those times when you're listening to the radio and your mind takes you to a distance via thoughts. The radio, then, turns off due to some god-damned concern and you scarcely realize until after very long. I had forgotten for how long I was sitting there. Keeping up with a time-line is very difficult in such situations. Eredith was dead too now. Her death, however, helped a bit. It calmed me, could feel the heat burning in my skin recede. Or maybe it just took my mind off stuff. Such things always do. For a short while, if not too long. But my anger hadn't completely diminished. It was still there, like a grumbling cloud promising to bring a heavy storm

I nonchalantly chucked her off my window where this gutter ran. I don't care anyway if people found out. Nobody gives a shit about cats. Well the internet does, with all those cat comics. Some are blindingly interesting, I admit. But in real life, cats are just useless. They're running off anyway, prostituting themselves for their big night-outs. I decided to sneak out into the night myself. Didn't feel a bit like a cat. That wouldn't be weird would it?

I felt a little more relieved. Stepping out always felt like a blessing. Calmness arose. Deeper calmness rose changing into an overwhelming state of coldness which spread from the belly to my extremities. I smiled to the darkness in transparent indifference.

My phone buzzed then. Yeah, I had clenched my phone in the other hand. First, I understood that it was four in the morning. Then noticed the caller; my girlfriend. Pfft. That evil slut always called when least wanted or expected. It's this thing with girlfriends. They always call you when you're having a good time. Always. They always need you to fix some little pansy trouble they're having. Sometimes it's their neighbors they can't bear with, and sometimes it's the friggin' water faucet that's screwed. Either ways, they're annoying little cunts. But now I was having a good time.

I rejected the call. Don't think of me as a bad boy-friend. I am skilled at managing relationships, you see. Practiced and perfected over the years. You can ask them girlfriends. They always had it well. Five of them. We eventually had to break up. I got bored of them. Nobody was interesting enough. I was hanging onto this girl, Meredith: my sixth girl-friend. Oh my mistake she was hanging on to me. She never gets enough, I tell you.

As I walked on the empty street, a dog barked on my right. Bleh. These goddamned dogs. Always do what heavy traffic does: break your chain of thought. One thing common between both. Make clatter when least mandatory. This dog was what the locals called Benjo. I call him Mr. slutty. Always coming around wanting attention. Wanting a pat and other stuff, you know. These dogs feel really good. They always want you to do such kind of stuff to you. That and biscuits. Dogs are a sucker for biscuits. Just put one right on their radar and they bloody want it.

This one carried my dead cat in between his jaws. Like I mentioned earlier, they do unneccesarry stuff, these dogs. I walked off mindlessly. Oh and I heard my cat mew. Turns off she was alive before I chucked her out my window. Anyway she'll die now. The dog will kill her.

Roads were empty. I walked in the middle of the streets. It's fun. You should try it. Well, not sneak out of home, that kind of stuff is bad. But when you do, come across a street, walk in the middle of it. Smoke a cigarette if you can. I can't do that. How I wish I could. I can't drink alcohol either. Not for the same reason as to why I can't smoke. I can't smoke because I suffer from a god damned smoke allergy. I'll choke up. Although, choking up seems like a fun thing to do tonight.

I don't drink because my father was a crumby ol' drunkard. I wanna fight him back, but violence is not on my agenda. Not that I am a bloody Gandhian. Just that I hate the whole procedure. It's a very ironic thing. You start a fight before being aware that you too are gonna get hurt in return. I have got hurt. But trust me I too can go very violent when you piss me off.

I started getting angry again. A fight wasn't on my agenda though. Besides, nobody on the street is there to pick up a bone with. I mean this is America! There is always someone around. Even on the streets, in the corner, loaded with filth. Very filthy, I exclaim! You just have to look right. I don't find it worth however, picking up a fight. You see, even when angry, I am thinking and speculating and doing a whole lot of other shit. My head's full of shit. Shit lovers love my head.

My phone buzzed again. It was Meredith again. I received just for the fun of it. It gave me a high listening to people. Worried people. It just is amusing. They think you're listening. But no, I ain't listening. I get a kick when they think I am. Anyway, I pressed the green tab on my phone. Priya blared. Even if I didn't connect the stupid phone to my ear, I could hear her stupid voice. She has a very stupid voice. You will say that too when you hear it. It's like when you Google "stupid voice" and click onto the 'know meaning through sound' option, it's her voice that you hear. Trust me, she sounds tad stupid.

She said, "Howard! Where on earth are you! Why are you ignoring my calls? …" and many other questions. She questioned me for the next five minutes. I just walked not listening, particularly nowhere. Then I heard her say," hello! HELLO!" I finally chose to respond, "Hey Meredith! It's raining out here!"

She said," So what if it's raining? Why couldn't you receive my calls or texts! What is wrong with you?"

"Well", I said, "It's raining"

"So fucking what if it's raining!" she demanded.

"I was getting wet in the rain! How on the fuckin' world do I talk if am busy getting drenched?"

She believed it. It's great to lie. Really really great. She took this as one of those 'reasons why I love you' crap. Told you I'm good at my relationship skills. Gals fall for every goddamned thing that I do. They call me crazy yet amazing. Not showing off. It gets to me sometime. But I can bear with it. I really can. Anyway, after she bubbled on my phone I said," Hey I wanna meet you right now!

She said, "Now? "

"Well yeah."

I am a fuckin' sex machine when horny. She knew I was. I really am. It's weird. Even during those times my mother used to do stuff to me, like stuff nobody talks about, I used to hate it. But then she said it's alright. Dad got along with her. It used to hurt but then, I guess, such things every family does. That is what I thought then. Then they made me follow these hard rules. The very very hard rules. She used to beat me up real bad. Not when I followed those stupid rules, of course, but when I didn't or forget about them. I used to be in trouble, very deep trouble, tell you, every night. It's what you can call neck deep in trouble. And if I ever made mistakes, they almost killed me. The beat me with my dad's walking sticks. They hit me in the shins, almost cracking them. I knew they had cracked because I could hear them crack I used to stay locked up in my room, without being able to walk. It used to be terrible. But now I needed sex. I needed it bad. I wanted to fuck.

But I was wrong.

"No," Priya said.

"What?!" I asked.

"No I cannot have sex with you right now." said she.

I mean she frikkin' denied to have sex with me! Nobody ever does that. I think that angered me real bad. But no, that didn't add up to the anger that I already had bottled up. You see, I am very very good at compartmentalizing. After living with my folks anybody can, I feel. I can keep anger along with their origins at different parts of me. It's seen or felt only when certain areas are piqued.

Priya said," Yes I wanna meet you but I need to talk to you about something".

"What the fuck are you wan talk 'bout now, eh? Cheating on me, eh? That would be bad ass. Very bad ass".

"No I promise it's not that", she said that with a shudder in her voice. "Just get here ASAP."

I stay three streets away from her home. She stays alone. I like that. You know that don't you? And I had walked on the opposite direction. Who knew my goddamned girlfriend would want to talk to me at this frikkin' hour. So I turned around and walked towards her apartment.

I continued thinking what angered me initially. Oh yes. Yes! Now I remember. I was reading this book. This really good book that somehow landed in my bag from college the other day. I never take books. You can see me right? You think somebody like me would take home a book to read, that too a good book? But now that somehow this book did slip in, I read it. Oh wow. I realized two things. I was pissed. Very. It was a crime book you see. It told you about domestic crimes. Well written. Trust me, if I ever met the writer, some Jack Smith guy, I remember, I would shake hands with him. Not that to you shaking hands would mean much, but to me, its great deal. I never shake hands. Very rarely. The last time I shook hands with someone was… I don't remember.

Like I said, I realized two things. One that what my parents did to me for twelve years was called sexual abuse. I never realized. I never had a friend to talk about this. No any sort of exposure you see. I did with my girlfriends exactly what my parents did to me, but it was more comforting with them. Moreover my girls couldn't say much. They were all gagged, just like I was. Sexy, ain't that? I was goddamned happy to have moved out of home two years ago. I just decided and walked out. My folks looked worried. Now I know, they looked worried because they thought I'd go spill the fuckin' beans to the cops. If only I could judge as well as I can compartmentalize.

My whole life suddenly felt all wrong. Every memory came past my face. I remember I threw up right there on the street that night.

I heard Meredith call out to me from behind. She had come out of her apartment.

"Are you ok?" she asked.

"Yeah am fine! What did you have to tell me?" I asked

"We should go in" she said and tugged at my arm. I pushed her away from me, enraged. She fell down on the pavement. "TELL ME WHAT YOU HAD TO BITCH! NOW!"

She swallowed hard and said "Calm down Howard. Please."

I drew a breath and said, "Please talk to me. I am waiting"

"Alright alright!" she said. "Remember how you said the other day how you never looked like you parents? I guessed that too after I saw a picture. I hacked in into the old hospital records you said you were born in and I found nothing. No records of you."

HUH? So you're saying my folks lied to me?"

"Yes, Howard. Umm, you were adopted. I dug into the records of your parents and it turns out you weren't the only one. They were foster parents. They adopted kids all the time. There were kids they adopted before and after you. They made you move out, Howard. They hid this from you. Am so sorry. "

"So am not the only one…" I said.

There was a pause.

"What do you mean?" she replied.

I looked at her for a full minute, or that's how my mind thinks it did. I just looked. Suddenly I was more than calm. She was my sixth girlfriend. I had to savor her, didn't i? I walked with her inside and tied her to her bed. Gagged her, and then you know what I did detective. I killed Meredith. Gave that cunt what she fuckin' deserved. What they all deserved. ."

Agent Rossi looked at Howard Mcllean in the interrogation room. Both were in the interrogation room provide by the LAPD.

The BAU had managed to nab Howard who was responsible for the murder of eight women, including Meredith. Meredith was their first lead in this case.

Howard wanted to feel the torture and sadism. He raped and murdered them. When he finally spoke his voice sounded unreal to him, this was the first time the FBI had faced such a unique serial killing case. The murderer not only wanted the detectives to know his next move but also wanted them to nab him down. He surrendered and came in quietly until now when he finally spoke. When Raj stopped speaking, there was a stunned silence.

Finally Rossi spoke, "What was the other thing that you read? It definitely affected you. You changed your MO and even left witnesses at your crime scenes. You became disorganized. But even the disorganization looked deliberate. You wanted us to think that you were getting out of control you. But you were confused all along. You wanted to save them from the torture you assumed they were suffering from their parents and yet you sexually assaulted them before killing them. Your foster parents are also arrested, if that makes you happy. You wanted to help. But you didn't stop killing. You changed. Suddenly you wanted to be nabbed. Why, Howard? What made you change your mind? "

He grinned in response. Horrifyingly, he looked happy to be here.

_He desired himself snitched all along_, thought the Agent.

Howard said, "Arrested those old folks of mine eh? May they fuckin' burn in hell! Hope I saved some lives. Nobody should become like me. I am bad right? You know me better than anyone, don't you? You understand me. Nobody did. Not even my cat. And she's dead too. Well detective, that is what the book said! The book said that the world understands serial killers more than your neighbor does- the so called innocent. None… none of my fucking girlfriends understood me. They had to die. It was rational. I think rationally. Always. They bored me, yeah. I killed em' detective."

He began sobbing, "I realized you can find me if you can understand what I have gone through. And now you do, don't ya?"

**Song of the fic:**  
P!nk ft. Fun : Just Give Me A Reason  
(here's the youtube link to the song) watch?v=13dzDv8pJCE

**This is my second fanfic. Criticism is welcomed The next one is going to be bigger and better, i promise. Thanks for the support guys!**


End file.
